CONFIDENCE

11/01/2021

So what is this spice called CONFIDENCE that is supposed to add that lovely ingredient to the taste of our LIFE? 

Let's explore! 

I am often puzzled by the term "CONFIDENCE" and feel bamboozled by somewhat layered definitions this multipurpose term entails. 

I know there is a fine line between the confidence and lie 

Confidence has a positive connotation to me, yet sometimes too much of it may indeed lead to a false sense of assertiveness and get you labeled as arrogant, too self-confident or cocky! 

Too little of it, and you will be pigeonholed as a "push-over", a spineless individual "who needs to grow some tough skin". So where is that fine line that balances it all out lies, how can one reach it?

CONFIDENCE is something that I personally think should be taught in schools as an academic subject. Rather than a subject we learn from our daily life battles. Not realising sometimes that life itself is a training field where we are supposed to learn "lessons" from our endeavours and come up with creative solutions to each one of our "problems" on the spot, as a regular normal routine which we should not even question, as a definitive core to our very existence. 

History repeats itself when we don't learn from our mistakes

To see a lesson from some of our old unpleasant patterns which persist in our life, to read the room, to take a hint - is the very way to break that vicious circle I believe, to turn the corner and start on winning those battles. 

So let's put on that armour of confidence to sustain ourselves during this battlefield as we continue to embark on the life's greatest challenge - the pursuit of wisdom.

Confidence Vs Courage

So how does one gain confidence? 

Is confidence an act of courage? Do you have to be bold to become confident - or is it CONFIDENCE itself that makes you bold and courageous?

Are confidence and courage - in fact two sides of the same coin? 

Some people say, for example, that it takes a lot of courage, guts to go on stage to perform. 

Indeed, research shows that fear that people are experiencing while standing in front of the crowd equals to the fear of death

Yet, while courage is something that we do in spite of fear, and bravery is something that we use to beat that fear, CONFIDENCE - comes from having no fear at all. 

So to get in front of that crowd with confidence means to go on that stage and to take charge, that is not to be scared to be different, to celebrate who you are as an artist, to share your art with others - because you want to!

So what about you? Are you being courageous when you go on stage, or indeed confident? Or does CONFIDENCE go hand in hand with courage or one follows the other when it comes down to your performance?

Please share your thoughts with us below

Confidence in a SKILL  

Where does Confidence in a Skill come from?

The term CONFIDENCE can indeed be used in so many different ways. It is a belief system, that is topped up with cognitive abilities, it is multilayered and has many properties. 

You, as a student, for example, can be confident in the system that you are learning from, because you see results. As a teacher, you can inspire confidence, and students may aspire to be like you. 

So what makes you confident in what you do, how do you become confident in your skill? How do you know that you are not being delusional, not arrogant, but confident? When you are learning to drive it is easy to see, isn't it? But when it comes down to arts, who is there to judge?

To me, personally, confidence in a skill comes from understanding the core of that skill, I need to explore the reasons "why" and learn the theory behind it. It is cognitive approach to learning.

I then need to go with a "trial and error" method next, experiment with that theoretical knowledge I have acquired and put it into practice, find my own logic to it. This is a kinaesthetic approach to learning.

Yet, what level of mastery one has to achieve before feeling confident - is up to your own personal preferences. It depends on who you are, how you learn and how you are designed.

Growing CONFIDENCE in a SKILL

How does one grow confidence when it comes down to a new skill? 

When one takes on a new skill, how can they feel confident at the onset of learning?

Everything is relative, wouldn’t you day? So let’s explore further.

Take it easy they say, relax, take one step at a time and believe there is a final point at the end of your destination, it is just around the curve. Have FAITH!

Tension is a killer of any performance

At the end of your journey you indeed will reach that goal and feel good about it. Get a healthy dose of dopamine.

So what's next? Well, then there will be yet another goal to set, yet another level to go to, and yet another skill territory to conquer.

The process - what really counts!

To make an effort is an achievement in itself.

Every skill, like life itself, is made out of little challenges, obstacles for us to overcome, puzzles to put together, crafts to perfect, mysteries to solve. It is indeed a way more positive approach to skill acquisition than to see it as a burden for example, and rather than saying "I cannot do this" we can say "How can I do this".

We can therefore indeed approach a new skill with confidence when we choose to enjoy it, see it as a present to unwrap, pinnacle to climb, and as an exciting journey we want to embark on!

To sum up, to build confidence in a new skill - it is to just get on with improvement of that skill and not to overthink it. Like an elephant gets up from the mud - you just do it. Hop onto that train of learning, immerse yourself in a progress, and generally remind yourself that “progress” is the opposite of "regress". Progress adds value to your life, moving forward makes you feel alive, fills you up with energy. 

So I’d say, take a new skill on whenever you see it fits, try and try again until you are happy with the mastery of it. Effort indeed counts, and therefore do take pride in the fact that you have made an effort in making that first step towards obtaining and perfecting your new craft. 

Enjoy the journey & Happy Singing!